!trato hecho!

here's the deal of reaching dreams that I've been holding on for so long...

I've been living all by my self since years...wondering why I dont even have 'homesick' feelings??? people said "Home Sweet Home"
mine said..."Home=Hell"---dont even wanna get close to it anymore...
too bad i had to left people that I loved,, my Mom,,my Brother...
its like i left my heart behind...

Life is about deals right??? this is the huge deals that i had to faced since ages...
robust and sturdy as how I seen to them---but I broke down and torn apart...
facing tough life that I have is like sailing onto wide ocean all alone with a small boat all BY MY SELF...i hav friends that come and go,,even Lover---but I dont hav guts sometimes 2 tell them how I feel,,I'm not good at expressing my self.....am a dumb ass.....I can see people love me,,I can see they care about me,,I can see they treat me well---and I adore them....regardless of juz dont wanna put them in the sorrows that i had...

Anybody knows me but at all??? I cant even describe my self nor known my self better…
Compassions, thus, hopes underneath the tough cover that I had are juz totally opposed for every single thing. My life such a rollercoaster, took time to goes up,, hangin up there and waiting for the fears of going down,, fallin…amazingly scary adrenaline pumpin, but always don’t mind to go back that feelin again and again,,sum said,,Get Used to IT or addictive…
Addict of the pain that freeze my heart and wont feel any single pain as how the ‘normals’ felt it. If u could see my heart,,,it looks horrible,,its juzt a piece of thing that broke down into pieces then my self tried to glued back 2gether,,its fragile nevertheless strong enough,, its sensitive although its immensely harsh. Achieving pain juz like a mosquito bite ‘Oh, I got it again!’ or ‘Oh, this feelin again!’ take NO BOTHER,, juz a small little feels with PIQUANCY HORRENDOUS wound beneath!!!!---[underneath Lies and Complacency of the proudly contemptuous feeling on the stupid thought of "I can HANDLE it by MYSELF"]

"no te vas a creer esto!!"

i'm an Outrageous one,,, I live in a labyrinthine maze of backstreets,,,
dont even hav any idea where's the way out it...
but I could enjoy it...i still can smile,,can laugh,,and cry and scream out in the same time...
its not misserable,,its enjoyable...
deadly games that I've been played since ages...

well,,Laugh it out loud...
"GOOD THINGS ALWAYS COME TO AN END"

am a FREAKO and proudly saying that!!!